yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
