Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
