theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
