I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
