take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
you never un-have a 4some
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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