the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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