you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
