oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
