bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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