Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
