That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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