He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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