Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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