JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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