I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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