i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
