I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
