you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
