so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
