On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
