i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
