Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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