i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I have post one night stand depression
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