Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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