Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
and she was petting her beer can
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
