Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
