I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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