i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
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