Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
