Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
