the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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