Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
