im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
