so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
