i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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