I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
that's an acceptable place to lick
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
