gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
