New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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