Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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