you have to choose: penises or morals?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
