Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Randomize
