I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
