she looked like the before picture.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
