wrigley field is MILF paradise
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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