I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Randomize
