Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
