I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
i drank out of a bidet.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
