Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
