____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
sex in a hospital.. check
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
