i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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