i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
