trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
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