so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
