I swear god or herbie drove my car home
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
